Getting rid of a body.

I'll tell you one thing. In spite of what you may have seen or read, cutting up a body in the bathtub is a bad idea. The acids from the digestive tract permanently discolor the fixtures, you invariably leave tool marks on the enamel of the tub, and biological detritus gets just everywhere.

Also, a disarticulated human skeleton fits nicely into a Hammermill paper case.

Burn it in a pit, then cover the ashes
Eat it (Hannibal Lecter's choice)
Wall it up
Hide it in a place (you can make the most of the "you can't hide stuff forever" thingie by placing it somewhere that, when founded, they will blame somebody else).
Bury it -in a previous grave. Two corpses in one!
Make it look like suicide (if the corpse is going to hold a weapon, make sure you're placing it in the right hand if right-handed, and left if etc.), thus no need to get rid of it

And the typical throw it with a stone to the river/sea/ocean

Anything else?

nothing you said qualifies as original or creative.

Afraid I didn't get the Arts Degree in Ridding of Bodies, sir.

However may I point out our friend would be very pleased if you could do him the favor of making a better job than mine; for I see it's not enough.

Thanks.

I always thought that the classic wood-chipper would be one of the best.

They can't identify the body even if they find the pieces. With no identity, they can't come up with a motif. With no motif, there is no way to point it to anybody.

I think th OP is looking for new, creative ways that he hadn't thought of.

IRL, the woodchipper jams when it hits the pelvis.

The More You Know!.gif

Sulphuric acid would be the obvious choice; but I suppose you already knew about it, and I know none aside from those that have already been mentioned.

You need to get rid of a body?

Call The Wolf.

Ewww.

Get a bunch of ants, or beatles, or some kind of flesh eating insect, have them clean the bones so there is nothing but skeleton. Take the remaining bones, and, depending on how much time you have, get rid of them one by one. Take a trip somewhere out of the way, distribute the bones randomly, sometimes in the ground, sometimes in the sea, whatever.

Of course, this is all dependent upon level of suspicion directed towards the killer, amount of money that is easily accessible, etc.

Richard Crafts was convicted of murder after he killed his wife and tossed her in a wood chipper. He even parked the chipper next to a river to wash the "chips" away. The police found one single tooth. One tooth was enough.

It takes a massive amount of energy to burn a body. You'd have to build a bonfire so big, people would see it for miles. Not real discreet.

Buy a few bags of lime (quick lime, calcium oxide, etc.) at a home depot or gardening supply center. Dig a pit, coat the pit with a couple bags of lime, toss in the body, add a couple more bags of lime on top, cover with dirt. It speeds decomposition and disguises the smell.

Not the most original or creative method of disposing of a body, but it's what I'd do if I had to.

Way to pop your first post cherry. I'm scared of you already.

Thanks Brandon! Just don't ask me how you'd go about trucking four bags of lime and a dead dude into the sticks!

An SUV?

or a town car. There is enough room for 6 dead bodies in an old town car.

I wonder how long it would take to use an entire body as bait for fishing. And there has to be a way to grind bones. Would bone dust float?

Depends on what kind of fishing. We talkin' bass, trout, or great white sharks?

i'm not sure catching sharks would qualify as fishing.

Extreme fishing!

Well if I ever need to commit murder I guess I joined the right forum. Awesome stuff, guys, thanks. I especially like the lime thing.

Im not sure if it would float or not. But you could take it and cut it with coke, and then market it as some new street drug. Columbian Grave Dirt. It's fool proof. Until someone dies from it and the autopsy shows the remains of a persons skeleton in their system, of course. But every plan has it's flaws!

grinding the bones just seems like the way to go to me. As long as you could contain the dust. But then you'd probably have to get rid of everything you used in the grinding because you'd never get it completely free of dust. But if you figured all that out it would be pretty easy to dump a bunch of dust somewhere that it wouldn't be noticed.

I got it, but you sort of have to work at an aquarium and be the person who feeds the sharks..... How convenient would that be?

Has anyone suggested liquid nitrogen? Freeze and shatter.

As far as dismemberment, do it somewhere blood is expected; a butcher shop, slaughter house, etc. The animal blood would contaminate any sample (if anyone ever noticed).

You could also throw a body into the molten metal at a steel mill.

That's all I've got.

I hope those were in the vein of creativity you were looking for.

Did you just watch Terminator 2?

This was my initial thought and pretty much all the ways I have seen/heard them dispose of bodies in either a movie or book which include:
-feeding to the pigs
-feeding to the gators but make sure you attach some pork to the body or else they won't eat the body
-bury the body on a construction site before they cement the foundation over
-dumping into the tar pits has always been a favorite one of mine

Also there was some news story of some body that was found stuck in a chimney in some abandoned house which wasn't discovered until someone complained about the smell coming from the house.

Another case was some father who killed his daughter and had her remains in a fridge for almost two years(Green Lantern anyone?)

Although I'm not sure how I would get rid of the entire body I'd definitely be sure to get rid of identifying factors such as the teeth. I'd remove those and put them in a sodium hydroxide bath.

No, I was actually thinking the opposite of freezing being complete dissolution in fire. But the image did come to mind while writing it.
*sidebar*
I haven't read the entire thing yet because I just heard about you from the site a week or so ago, but I am extremely happy to say that I am in love with your style. so thank you for making my day.

Did anyone bring up the idea of rapid degeneration? Similar to the idea of bugs, but basically just putting the body in an environment to make it look as though it decomposed much more rapidly than normal circumstances and then placing it in a different area?

The idea being that without identification if authorities are looking for someone that disappeared a day or two ago, they are less likely to look at a body that looks like it's been decomposing for a week or two.

Thoughts?

quote double post fail

Thank you, sir. I appreciate that.

Pigs. Go to a pig farm, or cut your pig farmer friends in on your master plan. Make it worth their while.

About a week late on this one but I heard something very interesting the other day and thought of this thread- a Columbus funeral home is in the midst of a controversy regarding an alternative cremation technique; alkaline hydrolysis. In other words, dissolving the body with lye and heat. Here are a few tidbits from a 10TV news article:

"A state board determined that the process, which converts body tissues to liquid that is flushed into city sewers, is not an acceptable way to dispose of bodies and the Ohio Department of Health has issued a memo that blocks the funeral process if the method is used."

"There are some bony fragments that remain," said department lab director Beverly Byrum. "Essentially all of the tissue material is gone but what is left is the bony fragments."

"The agriculture department said the method is an environmentally-friendly alternative to other forms of disposing carcasses."

I wish I could provide more details but my stomach has urged me to stop reading.

Interesting method.... i wonder what the differences in heat are between incineration and this newer chemical technique.

http://alkalinehydrolysis.com/

Kudos for bringing this up.

Significantly lower amounts of energy! Why isnt this used more often? Obviously remain liquids wont be flushed into the sewer... theres gotta be use for it. Interesting

burning with Thermite.
It's legal and burns at almost half the temp of the sun. You can also make homemade dolemite, and you can ignite either with magnesium from a sporting goods store.

Cement blocks and chicken wire. You want the body to rot but you don't want anything big breaking up and rising to the surface. The chicken wire is going to let the sea life still get to the body and have a meal. The mouth of a a river is going to be your best bet too. With the rapid moving water it will make it difficult for any search teams to do a proper search and the sand bars are constantly shifting so there is a better chance of there body being covered. You are going to want to double a couple layers of wire just to be safe.

You basically just described a crab net.

You may want to see Pusher III for a detailed disposal of the bodies.

As of Chuck changing recipes for explosive stuff, it is reasonable as there are hell lot of freaks who would blow themselves and their neighbours by experimenting just to see if it works. I doubt you'll have to change these things though.

Grind the body, mix it with something, like the way they do at MCDonald's chicken nuggets. Have a feeding program. Grind the bones then you can use it to clean burned pots and pans.