Insert awkward 'hello' to everyone
Well knock that shit off and go party
Yeah. Tell us about yourself. What's your story? What's your perfect sandwich? Would you like some lobster?
With this sandwich, go into detail, tell us about how you would eat it.
also you go into a bar, it's noisy and smokey. You see in the corner a bear and a pack of pigeons drinking beer, What are they talking about.
This is going to turn into a really bad porno intro
I just want someone to accept my craziness...haven't found the right kind of crazy though.
SOUNDTRACK: GENERIC FUNK
CUT TO: THE CULT (ANY PC, ANY DESKTOP, ANYWHERE)
INTERIOR, NIGHT
KENZIE HASTEN (taken aback)
Oh, jeez... I didn't... I wasn't expecting...
NOAHRM23 (perterbed)
No, you weren't expecting. That was the problem from the very start. I am, by the way, completely naked.
TUFFY (trying to calm nerves)
Now, now, everyone, be cool. Yeah, we usually expect something more from newbs, but there are those who think they want to make an impression... Usually we let them do their schtick - and then we find out more about what's behind the metaphorical mask. Let this Kenzie play their role. We'll know more soon enough.
AUDREYTHIRTEEN (sarcastically)
Yeah, if heshe doesn't just disappear like the others!
TUFFY
So... Kenzie? What's it going to be then? Your move.
"Tuffy, you're a Dalek, but only because you're only being kept alive by metal, science and hatred." - ScubaSteve1729
MONEYSHOT!!!!
I just want someone to accept my craziness...haven't found the right kind of crazy though.
I honestly prefer not to party with bears...
"Tuffy, you're a Dalek, but only because you're only being kept alive by metal, science and hatred." - ScubaSteve1729
Are you going to end every sentence with "..."? It makes you sound like a Slowpoke in my head. Just saying.
I want more than them
That's the difference
Oooh, I remember G.tina used to do that.
Hello new person.
Welcome to The Cult.
Tell us some more about yourself. If you don't like to party to bears, what animals do you like to party with?
Are you a Romanian?
That's rather cryptic on my part. I'm sorry. I ask that because Romania is full of man eating bears, or so I hear.
well partying with elephants is horrible because I can only fit like 3 in my place so that's awkward so now I like to party with moose
Why not mice?
Moose are huge. People don't understand the size moose can get.
oh I understand they're also very aggressive oh and mice at parties are a bad idea you'll step on them if you're not careful
So, dancing is out then?
"Tuffy, you're a Dalek, but only because you're only being kept alive by metal, science and hatred." - ScubaSteve1729
How can anyone not like bears, have you seen the Jungle Book? And I know moose, they drink all your booze, never clean up and steal all the hot ladies. Its no good.
I should seriously stop culting before going to bed. Or every bear post should bear a title saying "Irina stay away".
I'm so gonna have nightmares tonight.
her very lifestyle is a sin
"Irina Marina is the blackest person I've never met. She also hates books. She buys them with her drug dealer money just to shoot them full of holes with her drug dealer gun." - labelleza
I even made a pun...
I'm gonna die
her very lifestyle is a sin
"Irina Marina is the blackest person I've never met. She also hates books. She buys them with her drug dealer money just to shoot them full of holes with her drug dealer gun." - labelleza
Bears are Great.
Here newbie
why am I referred to as a newbie, I realize I'm new to this but I've been reading Chuck Palahniuk since I was 12 I don't think that really qualifies me as exactly new.
and bears are not great they just eat all your food and then crash on your couch for a couple of weeks
We are not Chuck Palahniuk. You are new to us.
"A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism." -Carl Sagan
"Am I cruel? Probably. Is she an idiot? Yes." -jane s.
Yeah.... Gonna have to put in way more than 16 hours here before you're an old-timer.
Also, you're going to have to pick a card.
"Tuffy, you're a Dalek, but only because you're only being kept alive by metal, science and hatred." - ScubaSteve1729
oohhh, can I pick a card too?
that's my card. New guy has to pick a different one.
well does this go in stages like new, middle aged, then old timer?
Sure.
We like to poke at the new specimens until we figure them out. Play along and don't be offended too much and we won't poke too hard.
This will only tickle forever.
what's there to figure out?
For instance, what do you have against capital letters?
"A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism." -Carl Sagan
"Am I cruel? Probably. Is she an idiot? Yes." -jane s.
I don't remember saying I had something against capital letters, you're just making assumptions aren't you?
Oh, yeah. This is going places alright. Interesting places.
"Tuffy, you're a Dalek, but only because you're only being kept alive by metal, science and hatred." - ScubaSteve1729
If you told us more about you then we wouldn't have to make assumptions.
What other authors do you like apart from Palahniuk?
Where in the world are you from?
And why won't you talk to us about sandwiches you enjoy?
Yes! Why?
Well if you must know I'm from the fabulous Florida
Oh, where in Florida? I, too, have the dubious distinction of being a Floridian.
Oh just the wonderful bustling city of Fort Myers
WHAT! I used to live in Cape Coral. I spent the first 14 years of my life in that city.
That's weirddd
That's what they say about my penis.
I just want someone to accept my craziness...haven't found the right kind of crazy though.
Hawt.
Don't you say meese for more than one moose ?
Hehe, I do sometimes, but its not correct.
I knew this kid in high school whose dog did that... his mother got mad if you brushed the dog away before it was done. I found that weird and disturbing so I didn't visit much.
More.
"Tuffy, you're a Dalek, but only because you're only being kept alive by metal, science and hatred." - ScubaSteve1729