Hi, my name is Amber...

51 replies jump to bottom

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:00

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

And I'm a cultaholic.

I like poetry, long walks on the beach and poking dead things with a stick.

At least I have a sticker that says that, and it makes me laugh. I haven't found anything to stick it on yet.

People like to give me little signs that say things and I hang them around my house. Most recently, one that says "I'll be Perfect... Just as soon as I get that Walking on Water thing down." I hung it above my coffee maker. Motivation every morning!

I have another little sign that says "I AM wearing my Big Girl Panties! They're just starting to Bunch. OK."

An my favorite "What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch!" Which I guess is a W.C. Fields quote. That is about all I know of the man, I am bad with remembering any facts about celebrities or notable people, you see, but I do feel I could be friends with him based on that quote. I empathize completely.

As far as all these little signs go, I guess this is how people have decided to wrap their heads around who I am. I wonder if they gift them to me more as reminders to themselves that they find me odd than anything else.

I'm really not that odd, however. I just like things that are amusing and it isn't my fault if the rest of the world does not get the joke.

One of these days I hope to make friends with some people who like books as much as I do, I've been looking for a while however, and I am beginning to lose faith in everybody about this. It seems books, too, are considered an eccentricity. If someone could explain this to me one day it would be nice.

I'm only introducing myself because I heard there was lobster but nobody will tell me where.

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:08

Irina Marina

natural born reader

From: Bucharest, Romania

Joined: 11/27/2009

Hi Amber, welcome to the Cult!

I believe lobster is a lie, I haven't been offered any.

__________________________

her very lifestyle is a sin

"Irina Marina is the blackest person I've never met. She also hates books. She buys them with her drug dealer money just to shoot them full of holes with her drug dealer gun." - labelleza

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:11

labelleza

[instrumental break]

Joined: 09/23/2007

Welcome to the cult.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:16

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

That is really too bad about the lobster.

I would hang that sign in my laundry room.

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:16

_kit

d.i.l.l.i.g.a.f.

From: NYC

Joined: 05/10/2010

Welcome, Amber!
I can't offer you a lobster, what about a sammich?

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:20

PGoutis01

MOD

From: Michigan

Joined: 06/03/2004

They only give lobster to people who post in dress down.

__________________________

subby socks wrote:

I'm going to kick her in the pussy. I don't care if she's only 13 and I don't care if I go to jail

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:22

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

Mmm. Sammich. Yes please.

I'll take something with cucumbers and brie and maybe some arugula and butter on a baguette. Please.

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:22

PGoutis01

MOD

From: Michigan

Joined: 06/03/2004

Also - would you post this sign by your bathroom?

__________________________

subby socks wrote:

I'm going to kick her in the pussy. I don't care if she's only 13 and I don't care if I go to jail

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:23

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

Absolutely, right on the door.

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:24

PGoutis01

MOD

From: Michigan

Joined: 06/03/2004

You would have to cut the top 6 inches off the door to make it appropriate.

__________________________

subby socks wrote:

I'm going to kick her in the pussy. I don't care if she's only 13 and I don't care if I go to jail

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:25

#10

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

PGoutis01 wrote:

They only give lobster to people who post in dress down.

hhhmmm. I have to weigh my options here.

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:26

#11

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

PGoutis01 wrote:

You would have to cut the top 6 inches off the door to make it appropriate.

It would go on the inside of the door so as to worry any guests.

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:28

#12

PGoutis01

MOD

From: Michigan

Joined: 06/03/2004

haha good thinking!

__________________________

subby socks wrote:

I'm going to kick her in the pussy. I don't care if she's only 13 and I don't care if I go to jail

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:33

#13

_kit

d.i.l.l.i.g.a.f.

From: NYC

Joined: 05/10/2010

pepper wrote:

Mmm. Sammich. Yes please.

I'll take something with cucumbers and brie and maybe some arugula and butter on a baguette. Please.

We're fresh out of baguettes, this is the best I could do:

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:35

#14

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

Nomnomnom.

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:37

#15

Liberum69

Joined: 10/22/2009

Amber, I added you on Facebook. For some reason, only my phone recognized your friendship query. Now we're ACTUAL friends!

__________________________

Si vis pacem, para bellum

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:46

#16

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

Real Friends!

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:50

#17

Irina Marina

natural born reader

From: Bucharest, Romania

Joined: 11/27/2009

PGoutis01 wrote:

They only give lobster to people who post in dress down.

How the hell didn't I get some then?

__________________________

her very lifestyle is a sin

"Irina Marina is the blackest person I've never met. She also hates books. She buys them with her drug dealer money just to shoot them full of holes with her drug dealer gun." - labelleza

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:52

#18

Liberum69

Joined: 10/22/2009

Shipping costs.

__________________________

Si vis pacem, para bellum

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:56

#19

big S

It's one thing you should know about me.

From: TX

Joined: 03/30/2004

Irina Marina wrote:

PGoutis01 wrote:

They only give lobster to people who post in dress down.

How the hell didn't I get some then?

It obviously didn't work, try again.

__________________________

Ritt wrote:

I wrote songs about cutting my legs off and crawling to art school.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:58

#20

labelleza

[instrumental break]

Joined: 09/23/2007

I'd just read Survivor when I joined and I mentioned that. Does ANYONE remember that Tender ate the motherfucking lobster while it was still alive? Because of this, Phil's offer of lobster made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. I always assumed that was the point.

Anyway, you seem alright Amber. Because of this, I'm not offering you lobster.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 13:59

#21

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

Your lobster is probably still being held at the post office! Dumb post office.

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 14:01

#22

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

Maybe I should read survivor again.

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 14:22

#23

_kit

d.i.l.l.i.g.a.f.

From: NYC

Joined: 05/10/2010

I have pretty much no memory of Survivor, but I probably read it about ten years ago

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 18:53

#24

Alecia

From: Frolix-8

Joined: 01/30/2004

pepper wrote:

Your lobster is probably still being held at the post office! Dumb post office.

Yeah, for fucking real.

__________________________

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 20:59

#25

Fano

Joined: 07/14/2009

tits or gtfo

__________________________

big S wrote:

Bitch, craft my nuts on your chin, i'm the craftiest craftsman who ever crafted a craft.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 22:52

#26

Tuffy

Dipsomaniac Kiss

From: Two Hits and a Miss

Joined: 03/29/2009

Look at the balls on Fano.

Hi, Amber!

I am Tuffy, a dump truck. I am bright yellow and have a non-standard wheel size.

We are glad you are here.

__________________________

"Tuffy, you're a Dalek, but only because you're only being kept alive by metal, science and hatred." - ScubaSteve1729

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 23:28

#27

Fano

Joined: 07/14/2009

Tuffy wrote:

Look at the balls on Fano.

My huevos are of a less than average size, and would therefore be unlikely to inspire any level of awe in the members of this community.

__________________________

big S wrote:

Bitch, craft my nuts on your chin, i'm the craftiest craftsman who ever crafted a craft.

Fri, 01/27/2012 - 23:31

#28

audreythirteen

From: City of Dreams

Joined: 05/12/2009

I saw a lobster book today and though of all of you.

__________________________

I just want someone to accept my craziness...haven't found the right kind of crazy though.

Sat, 01/28/2012 - 00:19

#29

Tuffy

Dipsomaniac Kiss

From: Two Hits and a Miss

Joined: 03/29/2009

A National Best Seller, no less!

__________________________

"Tuffy, you're a Dalek, but only because you're only being kept alive by metal, science and hatred." - ScubaSteve1729

Sat, 01/28/2012 - 00:54

#30

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

I think I might get along with you lot.

That Fano guy seems a little pervey though...

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Sat, 01/28/2012 - 01:07

#31

Frank

Filtering through the meaningless to once again find the meaningful.

From: Chicano, Illinoise

Joined: 10/03/2004

Welcome, stick around!!!

__________________________

Police

Sat, 01/28/2012 - 02:30

#32

rosiemoonjumper

From: New Zealand.

Joined: 04/25/2007

Hi Amber. There are a lot of pervies around here, watch out. Not me though, I'm sweet and innocent and nice.

Welcome to the Cult.

__________________________

audreythirteen wrote:

Sneaky little sprite. You love leading a wild monster rumpus but underneath pretending to be a mischievous little fiend you're as innocent and playful as a child. Everyday is dress up and play time, even though you may be faced with harsh realities at time. You never fail to find some playmates and get lost in the fun.

Sat, 01/28/2012 - 02:47

#33

Tuffy

Dipsomaniac Kiss

From: Two Hits and a Miss

Joined: 03/29/2009

It's a forum full of Pervey McPerversons.

Now,

__________________________

"Tuffy, you're a Dalek, but only because you're only being kept alive by metal, science and hatred." - ScubaSteve1729

Sat, 01/28/2012 - 02:51

#34

labelleza

[instrumental break]

Joined: 09/23/2007

But oddly, no Pervey McPervensteins.

Sat, 01/28/2012 - 02:52

#35

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

I posted a story in there once, long ago, about the time my sisters co worker fell over and took my sisters skirt with her on the way down grabbing for something, anything, in front of all her workers and customers once. Left her standing in her panties.

Accidental dress down story.

that is the best I will post in there.

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Sat, 01/28/2012 - 04:48

#36

audreythirteen

From: City of Dreams

Joined: 05/12/2009

rosiemoonjumper wrote:

Hi Amber. There are a lot of pervies around here, watch out. Not me though, I'm sweet and innocent and nice.

Welcome to the Cult.

Liar! Just because you're the tiniest cultie does not mean you're one of the biggest pervy out there Tongue

__________________________

I just want someone to accept my craziness...haven't found the right kind of crazy though.

Sat, 01/28/2012 - 04:51

#37

Irina Marina

natural born reader

From: Bucharest, Romania

Joined: 11/27/2009

audreythirteen wrote:

rosiemoonjumper wrote:

Hi Amber. There are a lot of pervies around here, watch out. Not me though, I'm sweet and innocent and nice.

Welcome to the Cult.

Liar! Just because you're the tiniest cultie does not mean you're one of the biggest pervy out there :P

Strong essences come in small bottles.

__________________________

her very lifestyle is a sin

"Irina Marina is the blackest person I've never met. She also hates books. She buys them with her drug dealer money just to shoot them full of holes with her drug dealer gun." - labelleza

Sat, 01/28/2012 - 04:57

#38

rosiemoonjumper

From: New Zealand.

Joined: 04/25/2007

It's true. The tiniest ones are always the perviest.

But I'm only tiny upwards, not outwards.

__________________________

audreythirteen wrote:

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 22:11

#39

Ghetto Mountain

Joined: 03/19/2012

You are a twat. You are so not invited to my badass funeral.

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 22:12

#40

Nightrious

Joined: 11/10/2003

Ghetto Mountain wrote:

You are a twat. You are so not invited to my badass funeral.

YOU POST IN WRONG THREADS!

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 22:35

#41

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

Newbie is so edgy.

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 17:14

#42

lumbdonitch

Joined: 03/20/2012

if i didn't know anybetter I'd say he's got water between his ears. ;V>

anybetter:= its like better, but even better. ;A<>

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 17:39

#43

femdophilus

Joined: 02/12/2012

Hi Amber. Welcome to this forum. I love lobsters. I'm new here also. Smile

__________________________

I love this site. Smile

Thu, 03/22/2012 - 15:53

#44

Ghetto Mountain

Joined: 03/19/2012

lumbdonitch wrote:

if i didn't know anybetter I'd say he's got water between his ears. ;V>

anybetter:= its like better, but even better. ;A<>

If I didn't know any better I would say you are due for 3 midols and a tampon change.

Thu, 03/22/2012 - 15:56

#45

Ritt

Fireous passion

From: The rabbit hole

Joined: 07/07/2007

Everyone has water between their ears. Your body is like seventy percent water. Duh!

__________________________

Craig Robinson wrote:

You used ta not give A FUCK about discretion! I seent you pull somebody's jawbone off. I seent it!

Thu, 03/22/2012 - 16:38

#46

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

femdophilus wrote:

Hi Amber. Welcome to this forum. I love lobsters. I'm new here also.:)

This crowd seems sort of odd. They are frightening me a bit. How are you doing with them so far?

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Thu, 03/22/2012 - 16:40

#47

pepper

Three Cheers from Everyone

From: Closer to Heaven

Joined: 02/25/2009

They keep offering me flavor-aid. Seems far more suspicious than the typical kool-aid offering.

__________________________

Frank wrote:

There's some goid stuff posted but 99% of the time I kill it with fire and no one gets to see it, ever.

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 22:57

#48

nathaniel parker

Sprung

From: Outer spiral arm of Milky Way

Joined: 06/24/2005

Ritt wrote:

Everyone has water between their ears. Your body is like seventy percent water. Duh!

At all times, we are just ~~> <~~ this close to drowning!

Sat, 03/24/2012 - 10:54

#49

Ghetto Mountain

Joined: 03/19/2012

The way lobster is prepared is kind of messed up. I can't bring myself to eat anything that was boiled alive. I don't know if you are still talking about lobsters, but I wanted to throw in my two cents.

Sat, 03/24/2012 - 13:01

#50

Tuffy

Dipsomaniac Kiss

From: Two Hits and a Miss

Joined: 03/29/2009

pepper wrote:

They keep offering me flavor-aid. Seems far more suspicious than the typical kool-aid offering.

Guyana Grape?